You Are the Authority

Butterfly-in-the-SunWhen you seek help, whether from a coach or a therapist, remember that you are the authority for your life. Any helper may offer you interesting and useful information and suggestions, but no one knows you or your life better than you do.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that you don’t know what to do and your coach or therapist has the answers. It’s tempting to put them on a pedestal as the expert who will solve all of your problems. When you do this, you lower yourself in relation to them. This is unfair to you and simply not true.

Only you know what’s right for you

It’s a mistake to go into the relationship thinking that your therapist or coach has all the answers and all you need is to get those answers from them. This attitude demeans you. You come into greater integrity and self-respect when you see yourself as an equal co-creator in the relationship.

The people you work with may offer answers or solutions to your problems or the challenges you face. Only you can know for sure if their suggestions fit for you.
The truth is that most of the answers you need can be found within. When a helping professional makes a suggestion, check your gut to be sure that what they are saying resonates for you.

I once had a client who, following her therapist’s advice, had left her husband five years before she ever came to see me. She still harbored resentment towards her therapist for a decision she regretted every day.

Only you can be the author of your life

Approach helping professionals with curiosity. Be interested in what they have to offer. Remember, only you can decide what fits for you and only you can make it happen.
Don’t expect them to do it for you! When you do this you, you make yourself less important than you really are. Only you can change your life, by implementing what works for you. No matter how valuable the assistance of your coach or therapist, it will be your hard work that creates the changes you want in your life.

Remember, your coach or therapist is not the authority and you need their help. You are the authority, seeking assistance. You diminish yourself if you see a helping professional as smarter, or better than you. By owning your own authority, you own your own dignity and importance. Stand tall and see the value of what they offer as enhancing who you are and what you do.


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